So... I think the stuff I am into is a little strange. I mean, a lot of things make it hard for me to find a partner. I don't even want one most of the time. Sometimes, and I'm wondering if this is a problem with a lot of people, maybe not just ladies, but .... Regression. When we get into a relationship, have sex, Etc, do we revert into our old painful ways, I do wonder? I don't want to do that anymore. I've cut myself off from relationships and people. I have a tendency to be a bit of a Martyr, to be weak, I do feel, and too loving, too caring. I really need to cut back from that and develop healthier attitudes.
I have a spirit lover, and you can blame him for all of this, I am but just playfully. You know I love him if I am teasing him like that. I never tease people unless I like them. I think I need to really put the breaks on myself, doe. If I liked you, I would kick your ass for you. Remembering crushes when I was younger. Punched him in the stomach. Yeah. I don't like men who hit women though. I am a fucking paradox. Meow.
I am highly inappropriate. Meh. Like Marilyn Manson. He says he belongs in his own way, like a veneral disease. Lol I wrote venerable disease. Maybe they are venerable? Who knows. *Dies laughing* Telling you to slow your roll. LOL. Maybe I am like a woman Marilyn manson. And I belong in my own way as well. Like Christmas Garland. Or glitter.
Ook, back to Regression, and you better not blackmail me on this you bitch twat, but I am going to talk about it a bit and flesh my thoughts out some. At first I am all confident, then we get closer, and I'm still confident, but the sex. Meh? Are men like this? Too? I am really lost on that. Maybe it has something to do with trauma and what happened to me in the past. I think about a lot of things that aren't particularly um traditionally sexy? Fucking on the astral planes helps a lot. I wonder if a boyfriend would think that that is cheating? (Do I care? No.) =)
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